


An Imperial Officer's Lament

by EzraStardust



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Gen, Parody, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 21:12:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12713064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzraStardust/pseuds/EzraStardust
Summary: Slavin composes a little poem after defecting from the Empire, proving he still has a little 'emo' in him.





	An Imperial Officer's Lament

At 27 years of age

I was consumed with righteous rage

 

The Rebels were lighting the fire

Trying to burn down the Empire

 

And I was having none of that

So I enlisted (and got a smart new hat)

 

I was sent to the Ryloth system

On a Rebel-busting mission

 

Once there, I beheld the strangest thing

I met a man who had blue skin

 

He told me if I studied art

Then I could break the Rebels' hearts

 

I didn't listen, but wish I had

Because afterwards, things just got sad

 

My office was blown up by a tin can

Leaving me an injured and humbled man

 

Later on, the blue man asked if I

Knew anything about a Rebel spy

 

I said I didn't and it was true

Still, he said "I'll keep an eye on you,"

 

For two more months, my career droned on

Until the day everything went wrong

 

I was sent to an unknown place

Somewhere out in Wild Space

 

It was my job to receive some fuel

The use of which was unspeakably cruel

 

The success of my task was vital

If I was to keep my 'Captain' title

 

And so I waited with my ship

Unaware that this day would flip

 

My entire life upside down

And make me look like a total clown

 

The shipment of fuel was delivered

But as I watched the scanners I quivered

 

They were picking up some radiation

Beneath the ship was its location

 

Too late I knew it was the shipment

Forgetting all sense of commitment

 

I made a dive for the escape pod

Not caring if people thought me odd

 

Better in a pod than on that vessel

The destruction of which made me tremble

 

As I watched it from afar

Blown up by fuel of the Death Star

 

I was the only man alive

No one in my crew survived

 

Soon I was saved by the man of blue

And told him everything I knew

 

"Captain," he said. "You're not cut out for this.

Clear out your locker, you are dismissed!"

 

And so I left and went back home

And remain there, all alone

 

Questioning why I ever desired

Joining the Galactic Empire


End file.
